“Piers chose that moment to prove that he was all boy by aiming his little pizzle at Caedmon’s chest, soaking his clean tunic.”Hehe, and she’s not talking about riding horse there either. I think you get the picture. The sex scenes were excruciating and made me want to wash my head out with soap and water. Top all that off with this bizarre slap-stick type of modern humor and it just doesn’t cut it. I know there are readers who like nothing better than page after page of detailed sex acts in a prettified fake believe historical setting but for anyone else I suggest giving it a pass. I hear the author is known for her slap stick style of humor and she’s written some kind of Gone With the Wind take off. No, I am not going to do it. No way, no how. Not for anyone.
“The red-headed princess witch of the north was up at the top of Larkspur’s roof, rounding at one of the slates.”
“She lifted his cock and stared at his ballocks, as if she had just enearthed some secret. ‘Eeew, it is hairy. Like peach fuzz.’”
“Slowly she felt him remove the finger and caress her back, spreading her wetness.”
“You are wet for me.”
“She lifted his cock and stared at his ballocks, as if she had just enearthed some secret. ‘Eeew, it is hairy. Like peach fuzz.’”
“Slowly she felt him remove the finger and caress her back, spreading her wetness.”
“Canter or gallop m’lord?”
"You swept into my life like a raging storm" and "Right now 'tis not our trust that I crave the most," she admitted."
Sigh, where do I begin? Our dashing hero is David D'Aubere, Earl of Lynchburg, a landless Earl (is there such a thing?) and great warrior who has sworn fealty to Henry VI and Margaret of Anjou. Margaret is thrilled when David lops off the head of her sworn enemy, and rewards him with a great castle and marriage to an heiress, although the joke is on him when he finds his wife by proxy with the mental capacity of a child. He needs an heir to keep his new lands and just like magic a beauteous servant by the name of Riley crosses his path and he decides to impregnate her and pass the baby off as that of his wife. Are you rolling your eyes yet? Never fear there's more......
See it's like this - our beauteous servant is no servant at all, she's the daughter of the Yorkist Earl of Ewesbury and she and her older cousin crossed the English Channel all by themselves and managed to infiltrate the Lancastrian household as servants. No, I am not kidding - no men at arms or attendants to assist these Medieval Misses, no indeedy. Well, you know the H&H are going to fall madly in love, but with all the secrets between them the path to true love has a bump or two, including the newly crowned Edward IV attempting to seduce our heroine in his "love garden" (his words) and culminating in a grand tourney overseen by our heroine dressed only in her shift….
No, I am not kidding, although at least by the tourney she had finally found herself a headdress and covered all those runaway curls. I could go on, but I'm fairly certain you get the idea. If you're looking for a good story with some decent writing I suggest you look elsewhere. If you're looking for a wall-paper romance with no purpose other than constant sex this might do but honestly it was pretty dreadful as you can see for yourself,
"He increased his pace until her moans filled the chamber. The glossy elixir of her body bathed his fingers, and he knew that she was fast approaching her peak.....As his fingers wiggled inside of her, her body began to shake with spasm after spasm of jolting pleasure.....her buttocks lifted, her hidden corridor sealing to his fingers, pulsing and brimming over with a hot lather."
"Lowering his mouth to her, he kissed the pink rose of her sex......Her whole body melted into a mist as his tongue caressed the swollen kernel hidden within her womanhood. The heat of his breath, mingled with his searching tongue, left her keening with ecstasy."
Although I do give the author credit for not including any volcanos of honey :p
Could this get any worse? Well yes it can, because there's a sequel set during the time of Richard III and the missing princes. Stay tuned.......
